The (mostly middle-class) people bemoaning that Glastonbury has become too middle-class will tell you it is now populated by odious get-the-look festival chic bozos. Nonsense. Venture from the main stage and you’ll find the same beautiful freaks and stay-up-all-weekend weirdos as always. Wear what you want, that’s the point (though bring waterproofs).
T In The Park
Ask any band what the best festival to play is and they will say T In The Park. This is largely because everyone there is far too focused on getting really sh*tfaced and watching music to care much about where your jacket is from. Don’t wear anything, a) expensive, or b) that you don’t mind being puked on.
Cool dad is the order of the day at this great but polite affair, and that is very much a compliment.
Secret Garden Party
SGP is fancy dress, the theme this year being ‘The Gardener’s Guide To The Galaxy’. Don’t be one of those “I’ll go, but I’m not doing fancy dress” people because you’ll feel like a tit. Go wacky, because everyone else will be.
V is glitzy, glam and basically a night out at a superclub in town, but in a field. Dress as if you’re off to a superclub in town, not in a field.
If your age begins with a two or above, you’ll feel old at this, a festival for the just-GCSE’d. Wear a band T-shirt. No, not that band. A younger one. Or the Chili Peppers.
Ditch the wellies
Six rough-terrain alternatives to kick the festival gumboot into the nearest Portaloo
The big stores’ best buys
Menswear insiders choose their essential items to star in every summer backpack
“These gold-framed aviators with tortoiseshell arms are a nod to the resurgent retro trend, updated with a flat lens to give it a modern edge.” - James Lawrence, head of menswear design, Asos