The ultimate festival style guide

This is ShortList’s definitive manual to looking, feeling and smelling the part while everyone else rolls around in filth for three days

Field supplies 

…YYou may have pitched up on a farm, but you needn’t put your grooming regime out to pasture

Glastonbury

The (mostly middle-class) people bemoaning that Glastonbury has become too middle-class will tell you it is now populated by odious get-the-look festival chic bozos. Nonsense. Venture from the main stage and you’ll find the same beautiful freaks and stay-up-all-weekend weirdos as always. Wear what you want, that’s the point (though bring waterproofs). 

T In The Park

Ask any band what the best festival to play is and they will say T In The Park. This is largely because everyone there is far too focused on getting really sh*tfaced and watching music to care much about where your jacket is from. Don’t wear anything, a) expensive, or b) that you don’t mind being puked on.

Latitude

Cool dad is the order of the day at this great but polite affair, and that is very much a compliment. 

Secret Garden Party

SGP is fancy dress, the theme this year being ‘The Gardener’s Guide To The Galaxy’. Don’t be one of those “I’ll go, but I’m not doing fancy dress” people because you’ll feel like a tit. Go wacky, because everyone else will be.

 V Festival

V is glitzy, glam and basically a night out at a superclub in town, but in a field. Dress as if you’re off to a superclub in town, not in a field.

 Reading/Leeds

If your age begins with a two or above, you’ll feel old at this, a festival for the just-GCSE’d. Wear a band T-shirt. No, not that band. A younger one. Or the Chili Peppers.

Ditch the wellies 

Six rough-terrain alternatives to kick the festival gumboot into the nearest Portaloo

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